Looking back.. revisiting a post that I first started in Nov 16, 2014








This post originally appeared on my blog Nov 16,2014 and last updated Feb 4,2016. https://www.pharmaciststeve.com/genocide-in-america/ This is before the CDC 2016 opioid dosing guidelines were published and about 2-3 yrs after the opioid Rxs dispensed had peaked.  Some states have passed law in recent years, that is suppose to protect practitioners and pts when prescribing opioids to pts. But few seem to admit that they have done little/nothing to help all involved. Is all the deaths from under/untreated pain or is all the suicides just “swept under the rug” and all the relatives leave the funeral home, saying ” .. at least he/she is “at peace…”

This page is going to contain posts made on other places on the web by those in chronic pain and how the war on drugs has turned into a war on pts. The number of people who are abusing some substance is not going down, but the number of chronic pain pts not being able to get their chronic pain adequately treated is rapidly increasing… as is the use/abuse of Heroin.

History shows us other countries that have had a OVERT genocide… It would appear that our society has chosen to have a COVERT genocide. The rules/guidelines in place is like playing cards with a stacked deck  Just label it as a accident ?

And the whole process’ genesis was based on racism and bigotry War on Drugs GENESIS… BIGOTRY ?

As more and more chronic painers lose or have their therapy cut or they are more and more home bound and more and more INVISIBLE to our society.. They are emotionally, physically, mentally exhausted… many are losing or have lost the will and ability to “FIGHT” and having to deal with increased depression.

I am not encouraging or endorsing suicide.. I am trying to make those with chronic pain MORE VISIBLE to those in our society that are CLUELESS !

For 16 yrs I used pain meds with very little problems. I took higher doses then most. Some people think if u weight 100 lbs u shouldn’t need the same dose as a 200 lb man. I sometimes vacation from one med to another for a month or two then go back . This helped to keep doses from getting higher and higher. Worked for me. I took my meds every 4 hours. i lived a pretty good life. Could work clean house and care for the kids. Do my community service. Felt pretty good about myself. Then last yr around this time it all went down hill. Only allowed to use meds every 6 hrs and at half the dose. Then no one would fill my scripts because my drs office was 40 miles from my home. For one yr I got my meds by mail or fed ex. That really sucked waiting and waiting for my meds to come. Then Aug 21 2014 I got that letter from my dr. Dropping me as a patient after 16 yrs. now I have nothing. I suffer everyday every hour every min. I can’t sleep I can’t function. I wake up everyday wishing I hadnt. Why didn’t I just die? I never thought this would happen to me never never but it did. I almost did kill myself two weeks ago but I don’t want to do that to my son. The pain it would cause him. What is my future don’t know? I did get lucky a couple days ago and found an old pain patch from 2008. Worked great. Don’t want to hear anything about it being expired nor do I suggest this to anyone else. What did I have to lose? I got to be a person again for a few days.got some stuff done. Made me feel better about myself. I smiled and got some sleep. I know that my life has to have some kind of pain management or I will kill myself. I would like to have my old meds back but those days r gone now. Medical marijuana is now my only hope because the pill problem keeps getting worse. I need that hope. I don’t want to die but I can’t live with this nerve pain. At the city hall meeting for mmj those people against talked about pain meds and pot as one and the people that used them r just the scum of the earth.the looks I got. I am sick not an addict or a bad person. I am a good caring person and didnt deserve the looks I got. I hope this doesn’t happen to anyone else in this group. But I don’t see things getting better only worse in this state of FL. This group keeps growing more groups r popping up. Sorry to say but we r at war. I know how the Jews felt when Hitler came to town. People,here in FL Pam Bondi is way ahead in polls. Why she is a monster. I have new found hope from younger people voting and or getting involved in their government. But this too might take some time. Got to vote. Talked to over 50 kids yesterday at the mall about voting this coming election.they can make things better for us so u better treat these kids with respect. They r our future



A husband and wife were found dead at their trailer Monday at the Groves RV Resort on John Morris Road, apparently the victims of a murder-suicide.

The Lee County Sheriff’s Office responded to unit #100 in the resort at 16175 John Morris Road at 8:30 a.m. Monday.

The sheriff’s office report said the response was in reference to a male caller advising the LCSO that he and his wife “could no longer stand the pain and that they were leaving.”

 We SHOULD BE spending our time trying to take care of our pain !!!  I don’t think heroin addict’s spend that much time running around looking for it on the streets !!!
I ALMOST HAD TO go that route … Because of WAY Too much pain …  With absolutely no pain relieving medication  Better off …going to the streets eh ???
No judgements or rationing on the streets !!!  No wonder we turn to the streets for our necessary/life saving medication !!! Is that their agenda ???
Or just wait till we kill our selves because the pain is too bad ???  Kinda like genocide by suicide ?!?! It’s just unacceptable !!!

Just can’t do this anymore

I am done. Fed up of pain. Fed up of drs and people screwing my life up. Making me live in agony for no reason when they have the power to help. I only ever go to hospital when there is no other choice, when I am in a full blown life threatening crisis. I only ever cry out for support when I am at the end of my rope. But now that rope has snapped. Can’t keep asking for help and support and being rejected by everyone again and again. It is in humane to be in this much pain, it is cruel. I don’t know how much everyone expects me to deal with all the time but I am DONE. I am not living like this anymore.

I’m about done with living. This isn’t living and I hate the quality of so called life I have. This whole thing has thrown me into a fibro flare on top of my back pain. I hurt so bad now I want to die.

 This is a debate question. Not a plan of action !!!!   When is it okay to give up?  When is it okay to want to stop this constant pain?  My wife says it’s selfish for anyone to contemplate taking their life but I think it’s selfish to make someone live like this Every day …..day after day after day.  Today is not a horrible day. Today is an okay day. This is a debate question. Not a plan of action !!!!

 Maybe I shouldn’t ask this, but I’m absolutely at my end. Feel free to message me if you don’t feel comfortable here. I need pain meds, BADLY. I can’t go on much longer this way. I contemplate suicide daily. I’m not a good mother. Or wife. Or friend (which I’ve lost most because the pain makes it unbearable to go out and be social). I can’t work much anymore, which is putting a huge financial and mental/emotional strain on my poor husband. I can barely keep up with my housework either. I feel like a 30 year old failure. My doctor took me off of the one thing that helped me, tramadol. Since then I’ve rapidly gone down hill.

 I bet no one would care if I died, so why not get it over and done with, I mean no one wants to help me. So why bother with life. I’m in agonizing pain daily. Im a looser now and always will be and I drive people away so dont bother being my friend because ill probably make u hate me like I do with everyone else.

 My wife has really been struggling in the last few months. This month has especially been difficult. She has stated many times that her fibro is getting worse. She has ran out of her pain meds and became very depressed. Yesterday she tried to kill herself. I found her face down on her bedroom floor. She had overdosed on other medications and was barely conscience. Ambulance took her to er, after 5 hours a private room. She finally became alert at 11pm enough to answer questions. She was transferred to an ICU last night and today at 5pm transferred to another hospital to deal with the depression.

 I know it is heartbreaking to miss these things and see the disappointment on their faces and people and family want to judge me because I have decided to end my pain on my dad’s bday and are making preparations to do so then I do not have to face begging doctors for enough ends that don’t even touch my pain and be treated like a criminal because I have multiple health issues. I give up


This is what brought me to my actual final mission. Not suicide, but a mercy killing. I know how to kill, and I know how to do it so that there is no pain whatsoever. It was quick, and I did not suffer. And above all, now I am free. I feel no more pain. I have no more nightmares or flashbacks or hallucinations. I am no longer constantly depressed or afraid or worried

I am free. I ask that you be happy for me for that. It is perhaps the best break I could have hoped for. Please accept this and be glad for me.

 I have a family member who has been in excruciating pain for years, surgeries and injections made it worse. The only thing that gave him the slightest relief was methadone. Well, insurance changed their rules and would not pay anymore, so they have been paying out of pocket. Sunday night he snapped, couldn’t take it anymore and took his life. Why am I telling you? His family is falling apart.

 Hey everyone, I am xxxxxx, 33 years old RSD both legs from thigh to toes, spreading to my hands and calves. I am the most depressed I have ever been, I lost my job, Im a nurse, nothing bad, they were just ridding themselves of Per Diem nurses so I took that hit. I am a single mother of two beautiful girls, 4 years old and 19 months old. My car is about to die, my pain is incredible and nothing seems to work,my hair is falling out root to tip in clumps, I cant stop crying, all I need is a hug. It is so hard to wake up every day and be in this horrific pain. Im out of options, I don’t have any fight left in me,im done with this.

 i am seriously considering participating in Doctor assisted end of life ..reason i can’t take this pain anymore.. It’s not fair for my wife to see suffer on a daily basis.. we don’t have children.. I understand such bill is directed to terminally ill..I will find a mental health provider who will support my decision.. No body cares!.. I reach out to the medical community they use me for $$$ i am referring to surgeons and the legal community could care less.. I guess my ethnicity as a latino in spite of my american heritage is not worth the effort.. It’s not just the arch problem i have a torn theal sac and my orthopaedic surgeon has abandoned me completey.. Sure my wife’s insurance has made him rich along with my medicare due to Permanent disablity.. let’s face it.. the medical and legal community would see me as a total loser..If i hit the lottery or had resources life would be totally different in spite of my pain..I am sick and tired of the bullshit and pain that i endure each and every day…

 Last night a 19 year old friend from Key West died. Pain medication overdose how sad.


 This weekend has been awful. I lost 2 good friends. One died of a heart attack and the other committed suicide pain level is out of the roof

 I just want to die, then I will be in peace no more pain!

Have anyone of you got to the end of the rope and want to let go. No more pain, i wouldn’t in my wildest dreams wish the amount of pain im in on my worse enemy. There is days i pray for god to end it. in sick and tired of being sick and tired. all the meds im on even meds for depression are not helping.i cant sleep, sit, stand, walk w/o being in major pain. i need help i cry myself to sleep the nights i do sleep. im at my max by the DEA law idk what else to do

 Sxxxxx  hung herself Christmas morning. She could no longer take the pain. She tried for a year and a half. She lost her job and had to move in with her son. She spent her last months home bound. She was very scared and alone. The pain was bad enough where she needed help getting into the bath…
Everyone please think of her today. This could be any one of us….
How much can you take? It’s not like she could put the pain away in a drawer for a while. She couldn’t just take a vacation from it. It caused her daily severe panic and fear of leaving the house…Or thinking of the future. She left no note …  12/28/2014

My late wife Karen lost her battle to Chronic Pain via suicide. I’d like to find out more about the (Cake) movie?

At around 330 am my cell phone rang and when your phone rings at that time it’s not going to be good, a very good and close personal friend of mine had been found unresponsive in her bathroom by her hubby, one of my best friends and how I met her actually, he thought maybe she had a heart attack and called 911. They get there and get her to the hospital had to shock her 5 times before they called it. Not knowing the reason they had to run to screens and do an autopsy. She was a chronic pain patient who her new PCP told her she was to young to be experiencing that kind of pain and sent her to a Psychiatrist early this week who was very nice and respectful to her and gave her phych meds and a sleeping pill. Her new Dr being a yutz that she is cut her off of her pain meds accept topomax and a muscle relaxer, this down from oxycodone and other meds. She committed suicide early this morning. Her daughter found the note along with all her personal papers including a living will that was DNR, hospital ER staff is not to blame nor the EMT’S because it has not been notorized as of yet. But this Doctor, boy this Doctor she is going to be meeting my lawyer friend I went to High School and some College with and if he can win a case before the supreme court he can kick this Doctors ass. I will also be calling the Bishop Cupich and a very old friend Cardinal Timothy Dolan who started out as a Priest and the Bishop in Milwaukee to get her a dispensation to be buried in consecrated ground and to be able to have her mass and funeral at her Church. So after typing all of this it was to say we have lost another one unable to bear the pain anymore. No she wasn’t in this group she is from Chicago area.


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