No Help, no medication. I want out. I’m not strong enough

No Help, no medication. I want out. I’m not strong enough

this is what I tried to do to myself tonight but I couldn’t cut deep enough I didn’t have a sharp enough blade. I am completely out of medication and no doctor will take me. I was again taken to Scripps ER. They wanted to hold me overnight, but I refused since all they would give me was gabapentin for nerve pain and stingily 2 mg of oxycodone. The nurse told me flippantly you fell asleep right after I gave it to you. I barked back That’s because I took a bunch of pills before being brought here by my mom. That’s the truth. I was talking to an old friend in Maryland and he excepted Christ on the phone with me. I took all the bottles I had = ketamine probably about six hundred milligrams, plus oxycodone 60 mg, +4 mg of Xanax. Unfortunately, my mom rushed me to Encinitas ER. Now I have no medication and I want out. I can’t handle it. The pain is way too severe. No doctor will give me what my body requires to stop hurting, and ER is just as strict because of the CDC and the DEA. They don’t care. I hope to be gone very soon. I can’t take anymore. Much love to both of you for trying so hard to help me. When I listen to that last interview from the Senators office, my hopes really dropped. He stated this is more of a federal issue, as much as we feel for this individual, meaning me, this is a much bigger problem which is going to take some time. I don’t have any more time. My body can’t take another day of this torture and neither could any other human being. Good luck on your crusade. Again use every bit of arsenal I have sent you. I know I email blessed you a lot last night = the sound of pain, some of my writings, some of my experiences, even picture of the hospital board with my name on it from last night. Today The straw broke the camels back. I could no longer do this, especially with no medication whatsoever. My doctor prescribed me a very small amount and said have a happy Christmas I’ll be back after the holidays I could only prescribe you a small amount but I hope it gets you through. It didn’t it’s already gone and not because I’m a drug attic, but my pain requires more medication then a doctor is allowed to prescribe. I love you both. Thank you for fighting so hard for me. I hope you can make a difference for somebody else.


23 Responses

  1. Richard Mark:
    Going through final stages

  2. Bodies, Not Patients Are Committing Suicide !

    Very close friend number three passed last week, not from an overdose of illicit drugs, heroine or fentanyl, not from an intentional overdose from a cache of Rx medication, not a self inflicted GSW or even hanging all means which have been used by other CPP friends BUT because their body said enough damnit, enough of the Pain, enough of No Sleep, Enough of Being Denied the Proper Dose of Legal Medication to Control the Intense Pain I Can No Longer Endure !
    I spent the previous three days and nights conveying means to control the relentless pain or at least attempting to do so to the point where my friend might get an hour, two hours and if blessed three hours of sleep just enough to recharge his body enough to carry on One More Day. All the means I have enlisted to control or slow that SOB we call Pain which has become the only constant in our lives since the CDC published their guidelines for prescription opioids to treat CPPs so they would quit dying from overdoses and driving the opioid related deaths through the clouds of Heaven. Numbers that are False, a continuation of the Fake News our President has Ben ridiculed for targeting and exposing as a tool to control the masses of our society and numbers which draw attention away from the true causes of opioid related deaths.
    These causes are many but all lead to the bullseye cause PROFITS and THE DOLLAR ! Profits for the prescribing doctors who have run the pill mills that supplied the masses of the real addicts for decades, profits for the manufacturers and distributors of the multi millions of various opioid pills, profits for those who took the risk to purchase from the pill mills then move the pills across the country and through the distribution networks making what were once legal pills Illicit Street Drugs. Profits for those who are suppose to protect the masses from their own ignorance and apathy Our Law Makers in Congress who receive huge amounts of money through The Lobby to write the rules and regulations covering every aspect of the manufacturing, distribution and prescribing of Opioid RX’s. Profits to the FDA for controlling safe dosage recommendations provided by Big Pharma in the first place and now Profits to the DEA and their Agents to pay the salaries so they can bust the doctors who continue to honor the Hypocratic Oath they promised when they became Health Care Providers !
    A complete circle enclosing the Profitable Commodity the Opioid which has been found to control the worse of the worse pains the human body can produce.
    The human body holds the ability to shut down against the endless 24/7 pain which is no longer controlled by these life saving medications given to us in their raw form as Opium but synthesized into the plethora of profitable opioid drugs. The profiteers care not about the Dependent Patient or the Recreational Addict in fact, they prefer they die because they can neither testify against the Illicit profiteer or be the victims in a Product Liability law suit. The Politicians on The Lobby Payroll Care Not about the CPP and in fact they prefer they are dead too for an entirely different reason, The Bankrupt Social Security System. For decades politicians have withdrawn Billions of dollars from the Untouchable funds of the Social Security System, funds which can never be repaid. Which causes me to Beg The Next Question, Have They Found The Means To Cover Their Theft And Bankruptcy Of The Social Security System Using The Deaths Of Millions Of Chronic Pain Patients Brought On By The Human Body When Not Properly Treated With Opioid Medications, the only know treatment for many chronic pain conditions !
    Follow the whole story in the soon to be released documentary GENOCIDE OF A GENERATION ! In the meantime FIGHT BACK, Organize and Don’t Give Up Easy, WE MUST WIN THIS WAR AGAINST THOSE WHO PROFIT FROM OUR STRUGGLES WITH PAIN.
    May God Bless Us All !

  3. Thank you for your article. I, for one, have gone to legal pursuits: cannabis, kratom and alcohol. As these haven’t lessened my suffering, I am now going to try unwashed poppy seeds. If I live thru all of this I may go on to try and obtain fentanyl for just one night’s sleep or the last sleep. It doesn’t really matter anymore if it one night or the last. It’s been a year of pain and withdrawal that has rendered a functioning human bedridden.

  4. By getting the CDC to take up PROPs ludicrous guidelines, PROP used our government to force their agenda onto all doctors. The cooking up of those guidelines wasn’t science or medicine, even the CDC admitted that their “science” was low quality.

    CPPs need to take a closer look at the making of those guidelines, to ask why CPPs and our advocates were so few while insurance companies and others with clear vested interests were invited to belly up to the trough. No interest was shown about how forced tapering off pain easing “opioids” might impact the health and lives of millions of CPPs. I suppose that makes us their lab rats.

    It was as if PROP and the CDC didn’t think we deserved such considerations, almost as if they don’t think of us as fully human. Maybe they share an opinion I read recently, that CPPs would be better off dead. It’s no wonder that they want to keep the travesty their guidelines have caused a secret.

    Forcing those guidelines onto suffering, medically fragile pain patients was beyond stupid, it was cruel. Blindly, mindlessly cruel and lethal. PROPs belief that pain patients would go off the meds and spring magically back to full health did not come to pass.

    The guidelines haven’t done anything to slow the numbers of people who become heroin addicts, the ones whose lives are most on the line because of potent street Fentanyl.
    All the CDC has accomplished is to cause chronic pain patients needless suffering and death. We need to make sure the public knows that.

  5. Thank you so much Dr. Ibsen! I tried suicide twice during and after going thru “tapering withdrawal”! You have no idea how much your words mean to me personally and others. I come from a family of drs and nurses all passed now who would be horrified today. First do no harm has always been their creed. Words from you an MD, keep me from feeling totally hopeless and alone. (though there are 100,000 of us!)

  6. thank you own doctor feels as you do.If mine is blackmailed into giving up treating pain,then my tombstone will be erected.

  7. They were preventable deaths…
    I don’t think of them as suicide. People are prosecuted and convicted of manslaughter when their actions cause suicide, or they failed to try and prevent a suicide. They don’t have to know the victim.
    Families of patient victims can and should file civil lawsuits as law enforcement failing in every way (start with prop… So called “experts” like AK of prop, who swore under oath he is credited [responsible] for reduced prescribing,
    and therefore he should take credit for all the deaths of despair.

  8. I am so sorry for the situation this person is in. But the solution is available to end the attacks. CPPs just don’t accept it. So more patients will opt to end life. When are people going to do what is necessary to stop the propaganda? The answer is learn the REAL cause of drug abuse, and it isn’t the drugs. Once that is accepted, the government’s agenda is a glass house.

    • WTF are you talking about? We never abused drugs that were rxd for us! CCP’s won’t accept what?? you want us to try mindfulness; cognitive behavior and more bullshit!!

      • Agree. No more of these bullshit ‘varied non opiate modalities’ pushed onto CPP’S. It’s obscene tourtuous and indignantly INHUMANE.

  9. Whoever you are, original poster, I am SO SORRY you’ve had to come to this. I completely understand though. It’s been 10 years since a med doc has listened & helped me, including “specialists”. My health has steadily declined in this time and I’ve NEVER had adequate pain control. I’ve thought about my own death many times, almost daily. Ironically I don’t have enough meds to accomplish the deed. I pray that things somehow get better…for you, for anyone, for everyone.

  10. I used to think this was evidence of a personality disorder, and that the way to handle patients who were “suicidal” was to avoid giving them the medications they were “seeking” so they could not kill themselves.

    Then Bob Mason shot himself.
    John Burke drank himself to death.
    So did Jennifer Beausoleil
    Lynette Chadwick died. I had heard it was an opiate od, just recently her son came to tell
    Me it was an amitriptyline overdose.
    Then jennifer Adams shot herself, right after Dr Tennant was taken out.
    And then Chris Storseth blew his brains out after I retired from prescribing,( and referred him to
    Multiple other doctors who refused to treat his pain), blaming me.

    Lynnette, Chris and Jennifer B were three of the nine patients the board of medicine accused me of overprescribing to.
    All 6 died from UNDER prescribing.

    Could there be any MORE evidence of the folly of these crazy policies?

    Did they die in vain?
    Alone, in agony, isolated and miserable.

    Hippocrates says this is nuts- to start people on procedures, then palliative care for years, then abandon them and millions of other refugees, for what?
    ( there is ZERO evidence that these policies have prevented any harm, and I just gave you the evidence of the harm they caused)
    Talk about your “Quid Pro Quos”.

    What a weird world we find ourselves in,
    Especially those of us healers who have helped hundreds of thousands of patients live better more productive lives.


    • I wish it could be even remotely described as “weird.” It’s blatant corruption, and those responsible for it need to be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.

      Including the law/governmental agencies (CDC/DEA/DOJ) who are all blatantly abusing the constitutional limits of their authority.

      Either this is going to stop, or be forcibly stopped, like it should’ve been years ago.

      We don’t live in a communist country, yet.

    • You could have the decency to leave the details out. Very upsetting. Do not respond please. Thanks for posting this right before Christmas. Very insulting. Shame on you

      • Are you not in pain! What was indecent about posting the reality! These people chose to kill themselves because their pain was more than they could bear! It is indecent that they should have to resort to suicide as a result of sham research and gov’t interference! That is what is INDECENT, Donna! Merry Christmas!

        • You do not know what you are talking about. You do not know me and I do not know you. What I do know is that my pain is deeper than you will ever know. These poor souls committed suicide . There is no reason to go into details about how they did it. That is really no ones business. Perhaps you better get a handle on your anger before you blow up at people you don’t know anything about.

          • Chris Storseth was my brother it’s nobody’s business or concern how he died especially you Mark. He was also a dad husband son and brother. You have no right to talk him. He maybe gone but I will continue to protect him as well as my family. What you stated of he died is false

          • I’m going to reply once to this matter! To Donna and to Chris’ brother. There is nothing indecent about drawing attention to these deaths that were totally preventable! Had they had adequate pain relief; OPIATES! they would probably be alive today! ENOUGH SAID!

      • would it be better if all of these deaths be washed over… maybe they just elected to run away one day and never to be seen again or they were abducted by some space aliens. They just “no longer existed”. There was a recent study from Utah that previous deaths labeled as ‘opiate OD death” … when it has now been determined that 1/3 were SUICIDES. Since they apparently had OD’d via multiple substances… they just “faded way” and we don’t always don’t hear about how it affected the person spouse, children, parents, siblings and those “mentally gory” details left in the wake of their OD.

        • Thank you. Steve. Sorry if they felt it was indelicate! Absof’nlutely! Am so tired of e-mails on sites about people we have been corresponding with committing suicide. There were 3 I know of over Christmas holiday! Why in the world would we cover up their suffering.Most, if not all, depended on us to draw attention to their plight!

    • On of the saddest weirdest thugs is that all 6 deaths of my patients would have led to my imprisonment if they killed them selves with Rx that I wrote. They died by other means,
      And because they lost access to my care.

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