Yesterday Kaiser Permanente signed my death warrant

I was left at an 8 due to a forced step down by Kaiser Permanente (due to the recs pre 2016.. Were those 2014? It’s hard for me to access memories anymore. The pain is too loud.) in Southern California. I had been at a daily pain level of 5-6 before the step down. Now, I am bedridden and have left the house once for anything but medical visits in four years. (We tried to go out for lunch on my birthday two years ago. It put me at a 9 for three days.) My pain controls my life. It is torture. And yes, I did file the motion to join California’s Starburst last month.

Yesterday Kaiser Permanente signed my death warrant.

They gave me a choice. I can either let them step me down or deal cold turkey with them stopping writing my pain prescriptions. I am barely holding on by a thread at an 8. Sooner or later at a pain level of 9, I will euthanize myself. I have started grieving my own death and prioritizing my books-to-be-read and movies-to-watch. Now I am waiting. I get to go until my next medication refill and then… Then.. Then I endure the painful horror as long as I can- and finally will love myself enough to let go via self euthanasia.

I promise, fellow pain sufferers, that I will not use opioids in my euthanasia. I will not be a statistic to use against you. The question is between an exit bag and helium or a severed carotid. (The exit bag is easier psychologically, but can be reversed-leaving brain damage. The severed carotid leaves you unconscious within 90 seconds, dead inside of five minutes and is absolutely sure, even if done in an emergency room. It is so screwed up that I had to research and learn that!) I promise I will send a snail- letter detailing my diagnosis (Fibromyalgia and Ehlers–Danlos syndrome), my attempts to control pain over the past 20 years, the horror of being stepped down, the torturous level of pain I have endured and my final exit to ABC, NBC, CBS and fox locally, in my state capital of Sacramento and Washington DC. I will also send it to my mayor, governor, state and federal representatives, the director of the CDC, the White House and to our president himself. I will post it on Facebook (who will probably delete it) and email it to Robert Rose. (I have already started it, as I am only sure of the next month.) I will do my best for those of you left. I will make sure everyone knows that I didn’t want to die, but was forced to it due to torturous pain after losing my pain control. I keep telling myself that I should be relieved. My suffering is almost over. Maybe I will even believe it by the end. I doubt it though. I don’t want to die,

This is NOT the first that I have heard from a Kaiser Permanente pt that they are being forced to reduce their opiate pain therapy until the pt is being forced to live/exist in a torturous level of pain.  This is the WORSE that I have seen come my from one of their pts. One has to wonder how many thousands of other Kaiser pts are in the same boat and/or have already committed suicide or died from “natural causes” because of their under/untreated pain. Below is a list of bodily functions that are adversely impacted by under/untreated pain.  Could pts that have had their pain meds reduced could end up dying from “natural causes” but in reality it is from under/untreated pain and the consequences of doing this.

I guess that the employee/prescribers working for Kaiser have abandoned their oath to “DO NOT HARM” for keeping their PAYCHECK going forward.

 

 

19 Responses

  1. Oh my gd. What kind of f up world.. why is everyone saving the gvts money by checking out early. I get it i am being tortured off my meds tapered after 25 yrs.
    i think about it myself. But. We are saving them the money of our ssdi our care our
    Voice out screaming in their ears. Dont stop fighting together we can overturn their crazy genocidal tactics. This is war our war… Lets get a class action or world consensus for torture of critical chronic pain patients waged upon their heads… Never stop fighting for yourself and your family. I am with you in heart and soul.. ……Never give up. Help me fight. We need you. The world needs you. ❤️We all matter.

  2. This absolutely breaks my heart that you are being driven to this point. I understand where you are at because I have been there myself but I hate to see you do this. There is a doctor in CA who I know could and would help you. If you would like her name please contact me and I will gladly send you her information.

  3. Here is the issue: Kaiser is PROP. Kaiser has an experimental program they tried to push every patient on. Its basically a narcotics annon, meeting with physical therapy. Many patients like my self refused to be part of that and were we labeled as having a opioid disorder. I went all the way to the top of kaiser and after ten years of being on medication that works, they now say MEDICALLY UNNECESSARY.
    I HAVE BEEN TAPERED TO 50%. I told my dr if she goes any further im afraid of what i may do. She stopped the taper, at least for now.
    The question is HOW MANY PEOPLE LEFT KAISER BECAUSE IF THIS? ALSO AND MOST IMPORTANT, HOW MANY HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF DOLLARS ARE THEY MAKING BYBDENYING PAIN MEDICINE. IT MUST BE A VERY LARGE NUMBER FOR THEM TO TAKE THIS RISK. IF THERE ARE A HANDFUL OF LAWSUITS THEY WILL PAYOUT MUCH LESS THEN THE MEDICINE COST THEM.
    I TOO AM BEDRIDDEN DUE TO THESE CDC GUIDELINES. GUIDELINES THAT HAVE NO SCIENCE BEHIND THEM, ONLY THE CRIES OF JUNKIE PARENTS BLAMING DRS AND MANUFACTURERS INSTEAD OF HEROIN DEALERS FOR THEIR CHILDS POOR CHOICES.
    ALL ADDICTS LIE. SO WHEN THEY SAY OHHH, ITS THE DRS FAULT, THEY DONT WANT TO ADMIT THAT THEY WERE USING HEROIN LONG BEFORE THEY TOOK A PILL. THEY LIED TO DRS ABOUT THIER PAIN ONLY TO GET LOADED. PAIN PATIENTS DONT GET HIGH. THEY MAKE THE MEDICINE LAST THE MONTH AND PASS EVERY UA TEST. KAISER KNOWS THIS YET STILL PUNISHES THE PATIENT THAT FOLLOWED EVERY RULE. KAISER IS IN BREACH OF CONTRACT WITH EVERY PAIN PATIENT THEY REDUCED OR CUT OFF WITHOUT CAUSE.

  4. And for anyone else thinking about this it’s absolutely foolish if you have an option to get out there are options. There is the life and other places. I left a body year after my Kaiser nightmare but I wish there was some way I could talk to her to tell her or some things that might help with the problem because numbers services with Kaiser is an absolute joke.

    I left to Ecuador a US style south american country on the US dollar in Dec 2018 before it got worse and it has. I was on 180MME but could tell it would be reduced further. I wasn’t going to be a lamb to slaughter and its not getting better there. I have a website gathering all the stories and it scares me from over here. The government isn’t just going to roll over and put things back the way it was. https://www.intractablepain.org has some pretty damning things as to what is happening there. I wouldn’t want to be there when it gets even worse.

    This facilitator helps with everything and drives you around to appointments. They have public healthcare system here and so much to offer foreigners. Not Mexico in any sense. The Policia are very helpful and public transportation everywhere. The Expat community in Cuenca where I am is very large.

    Just send her an email with any questions or if you want plan a call with me on facebook messenger, whatapp . Actually, Isabel had WhatsApp too using the number provided below.

    Isabel Mosquera
    Cell # 593 999603663
    isabelmmosquera@hotmail.com
    Visa facilitator

    • Thank you Earl!! I tried to access your website awhile back and it would not show me anything, this time it did. And my first reaction is holy shit! Thanks for putting this together.

    • Earl,
      I may be an idiot (I am kind of a tech idjit), but I was trying to join the intractablepain.org & couldn’t figure out how. found the forum & the login fine, but couldn’t find “sign up.”

      i sure wish I had any $; I’d move to Ecuador instantly…I’d be overjoyed to leave this foul state or Oregon. I actually got to visit Ecuador (& Peru) in 1977 & thought it was great. And the chance to see the Galapagos again….heaven!

  5. Would someone anony.ously get her my number. I had the same thing happen with them and I had a nurse at a hospital tell me what to do where they put me in when I mentioned what she is, and I got it stopped halfway through the process. I have the member services letter still even over that nightmare.

    US Virtual Line +1 (720) 239-1501

  6. I also have So Cal Kaiser. My pain comes from a work injury so Kaiser doesn’t prescribe for me. They have told me that they will NEVER prescribe an opioid for me…. NEVER, NADA, ZILCH! Even if I get bronchitis, they won’t prescribe cough medicine with Codeine.

    Please, don’t let Kaiser, or anyone else, kill you! They aren’t worth it. We have legal recreational marijuana in California. Have you tried that? Kratom is another thing that you can try. Lastly, can you afford to pay a doctor out of pocket? Of course your meds would be out of pocket, too, but Good Rx can cut those prices way down.
    There are doctors in So Cal that are prescribing and that do take cash.
    Please, don’t give up before you try everything else.
    Cindy L.

  7. I’ve been coping with the pain of Fibromyalgia for 30 years. I didn’t start taking opioids for pain until 4 years ago. I managed to cope with my pain and build my pain tolerance until it got to a point I had to quit my job – which was working from a desk, from home, in my pajamas – and go on disability.
    I take tramadol as needed during the day, and I take Vicodin at night, when my pain level increases for whatever reason. It’s a joke that the good kids are punished because the bad kids stole mommys pills.

  8. Omggg please don’t! Hold on!! I’ve done the same research so I kno but we have to hold on! This angers me and makes me heartbroken!! This country needs to step up and stop!!!

    • Everybody knows what’s going on the government is sitting back and watching this play out. This has been going on for a long time their hands are soaked in blood and they don’t care. There’s some kind of agenda or plan. In is far as I’m concerned I think the oxy cojones cut in with the heroin trade and the deals with the DEA and the cartels and now they’re fixing the problem

  9. I AM SO SORRY…..Please try to hold on. I know it is a horrible pain no one wants. I’m praying for you and asking God to ease the pain. I have a difficult time trying to ask someone to hold on because I know what pain you are going through. I know this is a horrific punishment on us that suffer. These people making these horrific laws are going to burn in hell!!! All I can do is pray GOD, HEAR OUR PRAYERS..

  10. I want all Orlando,Fla.CPP to be aware!Dr.faxed my prescription.They called back and said they need a copy,no Escribe this month.OK so I said,I’ll do that,but first,see if you have this in stock.The lady[?]said,hold on and let me check.When she eventually got back on,she said “THIS PHARMACY IS FOR HOSPITAL STAFF ONLY’Really?I called back later and used deep voice,asked about a different med.They asked “What milligram?”So I then went back to my normal voice and said “I thought you told me this isn’t open to the public”They hung up fast.NOW MIND YOU PEOPLE,this is a drugstore at the main hospital in Orlando!!!!!!!!!!!!!They are “Scripts Pharm.”@Orlando Health Central Hospital!!!!PH#321 841 1649.In DEC.18 I had cancer surgery and had 2 small scripts filled[controlled]Now,This is a Hospital,Folks!!!!!!You apparently will be turned away at their ER for having the audacity to suffer w/chronic pain!!God help me,and they want to give me radiation???I THINK NOT!!!Once again,I will post their info.You may want to give them some pain as well.ORLANDO HEALTH CENTRAL,1444 s orange ave.Orlando,Fla.SCRIPTS PHARMACY,located in the Heart Institute 321 841 1649.Musical prescriptions!!Vacationers,DONT get yourself hurt or injured here!You will be S.O.L.!DO WE HAVE TO SIT ON THE BACK OF THE BUS NEXT????This is outrageous discrimination!!!YES I AM ANGRY!!!

  11. This is heartbreaking to hear. No one should have to write their own eulogy! I pray to GOD you don’t have to go through with this sad option. May God help you find another doctor!

  12. I’ll be next. I have been forced to reduce my pain meds with no reason except that my doctor is afraid of the DEA. I don’t blame him.

    Hoping things change before I can’t take this anymore. I have Ehlers Danlos Syndrome. It is excruciating pain all day. All night. To the point of vomiting and passing out.

    I understand why people are taking their lives due to untreated pain. It’s inhumane. It’s torture.

  13. This is a monstrous national obscenity, & Kaiser is one of the worst offenders, from what I’ve read. What’s even more enraging is that patients that were stable on opioids could be among the cheapest patients…if there weren’t a billion absurd, ludicrous, police-state hoops that doctors & patients had to jump thru. At one point, I could go to my very long-term doc every 3-4 months, we’d talk about how things were going, she’d do a basic exam, then I’d leave with an appropriate number of months’ worth of scrips. Period. I’d go get the generic med that was very cheap (tho even back then, a few pharmacists got all “it’s against my beliefs to give pain medicines to someone who doesn’t LOOK disabled”).

    The entire process involved a few brief visits per year & cheap med. no doubt the suspicious zealots would have accused her of running a pill mill, which she wasn’t; we went thru an introductory period of years when it was not so relaxed, but after I “proved” myself she was able to treat me in an appropriate, adequate way without spending all day on one patient with paperwork & justifications & OUD/SUD tests & questionnaires (which are unanswerable) & all that garbage which isn’t going to really deter anyone but the doctor.

    Instead, the converts to the Church of Sadistic Opiophobia who swallowed the PROPaganda koolaid have legislated away the possibility of the few remaining compassionate doctors treating their patients & condemned to death millions of people who did nothing more ‘wrong’ than be born with painful conditions, or get hit by trucks or trains, or had surgery go horribly wrong. “Do no harm” has become “Do maximum harm to CYA.”

    I suppose to some extent i can’t blame doctors…those macho butch armored DEA stormtroopers with automatic weapons do look mighty frightening when they bravely track down the location of a doc in the phone book & sweep down on those criminals & their secretaries & nurses & patients, & all their lovely grabbable money right there in easy-to-access bank accounts. And of course it’s easy to understand why the DEA would rather use the phone book & raid doc offices than have to put forth the tiring effort to track down illegal drug suppliers & go after THEM…those criminal types can be awful scary –they have big guns & all– and they’re probably even rude too.

    Are these murderous zealot dupes (i.e. the legislators) ever going to realize that they ARE murderous zealot dupes….or do/would they care? They get to look so courageous in their fight against pain patients, too, in the eyes of a gullible public who’ve swallowed the greatest propaganda campaign since Joseph Goebbels orchestrated his.

    Frustrated, deep-rooted rage also shortens life span. I’ve gotten the pain med ax now too; I guess it’s a consolation that the combo of unrelieved pain & soul-searing rage will make my remaining time of agony shorter. I guess. And I don’t have it as bad as this woman & countless others. I reiterate: obscene.

    • I used to “joke” that “KAISER GAVE GREAT PILL.” because you went in- They said: you have “*FIBROMYALGIA (OR WHATEVER) and gave you a quantity of 90 or 100 (WHATEVER KIND OF PILLS) GAVE YOU “SATISFACTION.” They did not do a lot of testing to see why or verify. NOR FIX IT BECAUSE it seemed the PILLS KEPT IT AT BAY UNTIL THE NEXT REFILL. That is cheaper than tests and appointments.

      (I ONCE HAD A UTI FOR 2 YEARS ON AND OFF. THEY DID NOT TRY TO FIND OUT ***why*** IT KEPT RECURRING. I WANTED TO KNOW why. THEY WANTED IT TO STOP. THEY ROLLED THROUGH ALL THE different ANTIBIOTICS . (SOME NOW CALLED FRANKENDRUGS BECAUSE OF DAMAGE), JUST CONTINUED TO GIVE PILL.

      MY HUSBAND AND I QUIT KAISER AND WENT TO A PPO INSURANCE AT THAT TIME BECAUSE A DOCTOR WHO HAS COMPETITION **HAS*** TO DO A BETTER JOB.

      NOW THAT THOSE PILLS ARE CALLED INTO QUESTION.. (well. Let’s just be HONEST.. **WE** ARE ALL BEING CALLED CROOKS AND ADDICTS instead of blaming the medicine prescribed BECAUSE THEY DO NOT KNOW HOW TO SAY “WE PRESCRIBED IT FOR YOU THEN-BUT IT IS NOT POLITICALLY CORRECT TO PRESCRIBE IT NOW. HERE’S A STICK TO BITE ON.”)

      NOW WHAT DO THEY DO? CALL YOU INTO CLASSES ON COPING WITH YOUR SYMPTOMS? how to cope WITH YOUR APPALLING LACK OF ADEQUATE MEDICAL INTERVENTION? HOW TO UNDERSTAND THEIR NEW REAL OATH IS: FIRST DO WHAT IS POLITICALLY CORRECT AND COSTS THE LEAST…??

      I do not know your name. Steve couldn’t publish it for HIPPA rules I guess. But we are with you. I am sorry it has come to this. I wish we had your name.

      Rest assured we all understand the point you have come to.We cry with you.

      But please consider you are not euthanizing yourself. Euthanasia is DONE TO YOU. (Denmark euthanizes mental patients. They have no choice as you really do not. Some one/entity/alphabet organization/whatever has taken that out of your hands.)

      This is murder.

      By Doctors, Kaiser, DEA, CDC, Government rules made by non-medically trained legislators, ETC.

      THE LIST BEHIND YOUR DEATH IS LONG AND ***NOT*** DISTINGUISHED.

      God be with you. We are working for change but a lot of money changes hands instead of changing minds. Hang in as long as you can.

  14. What a shame this has to happen to a human being. The answer is available, though. People are just clinging to conventional argument which is not the answer. Learn the REAL cause of drug abuse and send that viral and we could end this nightmare. But sticking to conventional fighting (against CDC guidelines, etc), the propaganda will win, people will die, and this will go on for another 50 years before people realize they’ve been led down the wrong path. It’s the people’s choice. Learn the truth on http://www.doctorsofcourage.org.

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